These Are My Confessions, Pt. 1

I need to get something off my chest.

I don't get all the Beyonce love. There. I said it.

Don't get me wrong, I like her music. I actually love a lot of her music, but I must have missed the day when we crowned her as Queen of America. But really. It all happened so fast. One day she was Beyonce, the only successful one from Destiny's Child and married to Jay-Z, then the overnight she became some kind of American royalty who can do no wrong. Someone please tell me? Did I miss something? I just don't get it. I've kept these feelings inside for a long time because I was afraid of the "Beygency." But I can't keep quiet any longer. Beyonce is overrated.

But like Usher, I have many more confessions. Not a pregnant mistress, but confessions nonetheless.

These are my confessions.

I actually enjoy Twilight. Not in a "haha aren't these so bad?" way but in an "I'm on team Edward" way. I've read all the books...twice. I've seen all the movies. I not only saw them in theaters, but I went to midnight showings. I even saw some of them multiple times while they were in the theaters. I paid $10 on multiple occasions to see these awful movies. I know they're bad. I have eyes and ears. But they're a guilty pleasure.

I haven't read Harry Potter. I know what you're thinking. "How can you read Twilight multiple times, yet never read the greatest series of our generation?" I know. I'm ashamed of it. I'm disgusted with myself. I've tried. Twice. It's just hard reading a book for the first time when you already know how it's going to end. If it makes up for it, I've seen all the movies, multiple times. I've been sorted on Pottermore (I am a proud member of Slytherin). I just haven't quite read the books. I will... someday. I know I will. I just haven't yet. This is my secret shame.

I still like Miley Cyrus. For years I was a Miley defender. When she danced on a stripper pole at the TCAs, I defended her. When she dressed up as a bird and writhed around on a bed, I overlooked it as growing up. But as Miley got more and more crazy, my defense of her had to go underground. I still love her and I've come to the realization that I will defend her to my grave. Bangerz is basically amazing. I know it's crap, but it is really good crap.

I don't wish people happy birthday on Facebook. I actually refuse to. So next time your birthday rolls around, don't expect a lame birthday wish from me. I guess my thinking is, if I want to wish you a happy birthday (meaning you're someone I'm close enough with to do so), I'm going to do it in a more personal way than Facebook. That way may be a text, but at least that shows that I actually have your phone number. I mean, when I get birthday messages from people I haven't spoken to since middle school, I know it's not sincere. They don't actually know when my birthday is, nor do they really care how my day was. They just feel obligated to wish me a happy birthday because Facebook brought it to their attention. In fairness, I hereby release you all from feeling obligated to post "Happy Birthday" on my Facebook ever again.

I'm a recovering hoarder. Not of things like clothes or makeup or knick knacks or normal things. I was once a hoarder of school work. Like, I kept binders and folders full of notes and assignments for years. When I went away to college, I wanted to bring along my high school work. I thought, maybe I would take a class where I would need those notes. I didn't. I never did. To my fellow nerd hoarders, you will never need those notes or English papers again. You can and should throw them away. Move on. Also, I do kinda hoard clothes, but only a little.

Until recently, I couldn't remember what a prime number was or how to do long division. I'm just not a math person. I know I learned those things at one point, I just didn't use them that often and never thought too much about them. I'm not stupid. I swear. My memory of basic math has been refreshed, but I'm still not very good at it. Fractions are of Satan. I blame public education.

I don't love Nutella. It's good, but not amazing. I don't feel the need to put it on anything and everything. There are better things. But I will say, one of those things is not peanut butter. I like peanut butter by itself, but peanut butter desserts and things of the like are just not my thing.

Sometimes I like to put in my headphones and turn the music up really loud and pretend I'm in a movie. But that's not really a confession because we all do that.

+Haley

Haley's Book Club #1

I would like to take this opportunity to formally pat myself on the back, because so far, I have kept my New Year's resolution to read one book every week.

*pause for applause*

It's January 11 and I have already read two books. First, I read "Gone Girl," which I wouldn't recommend if you dislike cursing--there is quite a lot of it. Regardless, I enjoyed it. The story was intriguing and suspenseful. It took me a while to get into it, but once I did, I couldn't put it down. The book is about a man whose wife goes missing under suspicious circumstances and he is the police's number one suspect. I think it makes a few interesting observations about how media handles cases like these. Beware, there is a twist and a movie made, so steer clear of the internert if you plan to read it because you may be spoiled.

Next, I read "Someday, Someday, Maybe" by Lauren Graham. If you know me, you probably are aware that Gilmore Girls is one of my all time favorite shows and Lauren Graham played Lorelai Gilmore. So when I found out Lauren Graham wrote a book, I was all over it. This book is about Franny, a struggling actress in NYC. It follows her through the ups and downs of trying to make it in "the biz." This was extra fun for me having just moved to the city. I loved reading her mention street names and subway lines and actually knowing what she was talking about. I recommend this for anyone interested in showbiz and/or New York City and/or anyone looking for a cute, fun story. I think it will particularly resonate with my fellow college graduates who are still a little bit iffy on this whole "real world" thing.

That's where I am with my plan to read a book a week. Full disclosure: I was about a quarter of the way through "Gone Girl" before the year started, but seeing as it hasn't been a full two weeks yet, I don't think that's cheating.

My book for this next week is "Unbroken" by Laura Hillenbrand. Here is the book synopsis from her website: 

On a May afternoon in 1943, an Army Air Forces bomber crashed into the Pacific Ocean and disappeared, leaving only a spray of debris and a slick of oil, gasoline, and blood.  Then, on the ocean surface, a face appeared. It was that of a young lieutenant, the plane’s bombardier, who was struggling to a life raft and pulling himself aboard.  So began one of the most extraordinary odysseys of the Second World War.

The lieutenant’s name was Louis Zamperini.  In boyhood, he’d been a cunning and incorrigible delinquent, breaking into houses, brawling, and fleeing his home to ride the rails.  As a teenager, he had channeled his defiance into running, discovering a prodigious talent that had carried him to the Berlin Olympics and within sight of the four-minute mile.  But when war had come, the athlete had become an airman, embarking on a journey that led to his doomed flight, a tiny raft, and a drift into the unknown.

Ahead of Zamperini lay thousands of miles of open ocean, leaping sharks, a foundering raft, thirst and starvation, enemy aircraft, and, beyond, a trial even greater.  Driven to the limits of endurance, Zamperini would answer desperation with ingenuity; suffering with hope, resolve, and humor; brutality with rebellion. His fate, whether triumph or tragedy, would be suspended on the fraying wire of his will.

I've decided that I'm going to listen to the audiobook of this one for three reasons. 1) I spend a lot of time on public transportation these days and it's easier to listen on my iPhone than lug around a book; 2) The audiobook is read by Edward Hermann, the patriarch of Gilmore Girls who recently passed away. I can't think of someone who is better suited to read books (Morgan Freeman included); 3) It's pretty long...

If you want to read/listen along with me you can get a free audiobook from audible.com with a new account. It's basically Netflix for books and if you don't want to pay for the account, just cancel it once you get your free book!

Happy reading!

+Haley

Other books I plan on reading:

"This is Where I Leave You" by Jonathan Tropper (Novel)
"I Was Told There'd Be Cake" by Sloane Crosley (Humor Essays)
"One More Thing" by BJ Novak (Humor Essays)
"Yes Please" by Amy Poehler (Humor/Memoir-ish)
"Bright Lights, Big City" by Jay McInerney (Novel) - I'm particularly excited for this because it is written in second person, which will be interesting!
"Wild" by Cheryl Strayed (Memoir)
"Behind the Beautiful Forever" by Catherine Boo (Novel)
"Bossypants" by Tina Fey (Humor/memoir-ish)
"Almost Famous Women" by Megan Mayhew Bergman (short stories)

A Definitive Ranking of Every Song on Taylor Swift's 1989 Album

As promised in my first post, I give you the ranking of every song on Taylor Swift's new album, 1989. I know I'm like the last person to talk about this album, but I think that just makes this ranking more definitive. This order has been proven over the course of like 2 or 3 months. Wow, has it really been that long?

Disclaimer: I did not get her extended, deluxe, super whatever album at Target for two reasons. 1) The closest Target to me in Ohio was over an hour away and 2) I don't even know what I would do with an actual CD. So, I just have the main tracks that you can get from iTunes and everywhere else.

13) "Welcome To New York"

This is the only song on the entire album that I actually kind of dislike. Everything else it just varying degrees of love. But I just find this song a little obnoxious. She is just repeating "Welcome to New York" over and over and over again. I do love the beat, it's just the lyrics that get a little grating. We get it Taylor, you live in New York now. I will admit my opinion on this song has softened slightly since moving to the Big Apple, but it still lands at number 13. On a side note, I've decided I will dedicate approximately 43% of my time in the city to becoming T Swift's new BFF.

Final rating: 5 out of 10 'it's been waiting for yous'

12) "This Love"

For me, this song is just meh. I don't skip it when it comes on, but I also don't seek it out. It's pretty, but also kind of boring. I think Taylor's slow songs usually are pretty boring, but this is much better than some of her other slow songs. I'm looking at you "Last Kiss."

Final rating: 3 out of 5 awkward dancing Swift gifs.

11) "Out of the Woods"

This song falls short for me for the same reasons as "Welcome to New York." Repetition is fun and all, but also kind of lazy and boring. The first time I heard this I wasn't a fan. Like a lot of her songs, it grew on me, but it's still low on the list.

Final rating: 6 out of 13 Harry Styles posters

10) "Clean"

As far as Taylor Swift's slow songs go, I really like this one. It's a really nice finish to the album. Most of the songs on the album have a lot of heavy synth and this is much more relaxing. I don't have anything to complain about in this song. It's mostly perfect.

Final rating: 4% worse than Hilary Duff's version

9) "How You Get the Girl"

Okay. I'm five songs in and this ranking thing is starting to get hard because I honestly love all these songs. This song is at number 9 because, one of them had to be. But I still love this one. It's fun and cute and different. Plus the chorus is super catchy. I dare you not to sing along with it.

Finale rating: 7

8) "All You Had To Do Was Stay"

I honestly couldn't tell you why this is #8. It just is. I love it, just not as much as the others. My only real complaint is not really a complaint, but what is that noise Taylor makes when she sings "stay"? It's eerily similar to that one part in "Trouble."

Final rating: 14 screeching goats

7) "I Wish You Would"

I felt like I would have more to say about these, but I just don't. I love it, but it's not one that would bring me to the album.

Final rating: yes

6) "Wildest Dreams"

I think this is Taylor Swift's best ballad ever. The music, the words, the chorus. It's all perfect. It's hauntingly beautiful. Gosh, I felt so pretentious writing that. Is this how music reviewers always feel?

Final rating: 15.2 gold stars

5) "Style"

I don't know why, but this kind of reminds me of the Jonas Brothers. Just the beginning, but still. Regardless, this song is catchy, fun to sing along to and the verses just build to the chorus.

Final rating: 8 tubes of red lipstick

4) "Shake It Off"

I mean. What is there to say? The song that started it all. I love it. It's catchy and snarky, which is my favorite version of Taylor. And that saxophone. Nothing beats dat sax. The only reason this song isn't higher is because it came out earlier and lost it's newness.

Final rating: 8 out of 10 interpretive dancers

3) "Bad Blood"

This song is awesome. It's really different for T. Swift and I love it. Maybe it's because I never thought I'd hear Taylor Swift sing about blood or the really intense bass, but it's just all around great.

Final rating: 12 Katy Perry wigs

2) "Blank Space"

This song is by far one of Taylor's best. Once again, Taylor's sass and sarcasm comes out and I love it. Also, that video is perfection. This is one of the songs on the album that just gets stuck in your head. The only downside is the use of "lovers." I hate that word.

Final rating: 17 beat up porsches

1) I Know Places

This is probably the most different song on the whole album and I'm obsessed with it. If you played this after a song like "Tim McGraw" or "Teardrops On My Guitar," you'd have a hard time believing they were from the same artist. It's a totally different tune than what we're used to hearing Taylor sing and the lyrics are kind of amazing. I feel like it could be the theme for some dystopian movie. I'm not even sure how this is possible, but I've listened to this song 180 times since October 28. That's a lot. (I'm guessing it got left on repeat while on mute at some point, because as much as I love it, I don't think I've listened to it that much)

Finale rating: 12 out of 13 districts

Well, I think I can cross music reviewer off my list of potential careers. That was way harder than I thought it would be and I don't know why anyone would read this. But I hope someone enjoyed it. Anyone? Bueller??

Let me know, what is your favorite song from the album?

+Haley

New Year's Resolution

If you're not already sick of hearing about everyone's New Year's resolution, keep reading.

I have a love/hate relationship with New Year's resolutions. The logical part of me knows how dumb it is to think we have to wait for a new year to make changes. But the same part of me that thinks I can only start a diet or exercise regimen on Monday, loves how January 1st feels. There is something so exciting about a brand new year. Like so many others, I've taken to creating resolutions to help start the year off right. If my history with resolutions is any indication, they don't always (or usually) last the whole year. But just because your deodorant doesn't last all day, it doesn't mean you shouldn't put it on in the first place.

For me, New Year's resolutions have had mixed results.

One year, I resolved to tweet more. Extremely vague and unimportant, I know. But I went from 300 tweets in January to over 1,000 in December. Success.

Another year I decided to eat gluten free, avoid sugar and observe Meatless Mondays. I went 3 or 4 months without gluten, but didn't do so well avoiding meat on Mondays or sugar. Mild success/failure.

Then, of course, there are years that I very optimistically resolved to run half marathons and save more money. One look at my bank account and you'll know how well I succeeded at the latter. Complete failure.

But maybe I just needed more motivation. Maybe posting my resolutions online for the world to see will help me stick to them. Maybe not, but it's worth a shot right?

Without further adieu, my New Year's resolutions for 2015:

• Read/listen to a book every week. When I mentioned this resolution to someone other than my bookworm sister, they thought I was crazy and wondered if that was even possible. I think it is. Is it possible for me to do? We shall see. I've been wanting to read more and how cool would it be to say I read 52 books in 2015. I think that's awesome. Maybe I'll use this blog as a bit of a book club. I'll definitely keep you up to date on the book I'm reading. 
• Blog more. Given I've started a new blog, I want to get better at this blogging thing. I see so many people that are so good at it and I want to be good at it, too!
• Run a half marathon. I've made this resolution in past years (see para. 6), but this year I have my brother and sister-in-law to do it with. Hopefully that whole strength in numbers thing proves true.
• Learn. I've only recently realized how much I miss learning. You never think about it when you're in school. Now that I've graduated, I miss it more than I thought I would. Education is wasted on students, right? So I really want to take the time this year to learn about new things. Thanks to "Serial," I've become obsessed with listening to podcasts while I get ready every morning and there are so many educational and interesting programs out there! I'll also be living in NYC, where there are hundreds of museums that I can't wait to visit. Plus, I've committed to reading a book a week. That's pretty educational, if I do say so myself. Which I do.

I think overall, my goal for this year is to become more engaged (not necessarily to a man). I want to waste less time on Netflix, YouTube and Facebook. I want to do more things that give me a sense of accomplishment.

I am really excited about all my resolutions and I hope you're excited about yours, too. Let me know what you've resolved to do/become this year! May the force be with us all.

+Haley

New Year, New City, New Blog

It's time for a new blog.

I've been wanting to do this for a few month now, but wasn't sure which route to take. I toyed with the idea of resurrecting my old blog, but I really wanted a fresh start. But then I was stuck on a name for this new blog. Everything I came up with was either too cheesy, too generic/already taken, or too stupid—but seriously, there were some real stinkers on the list and I will be taking them to my grave. After many lists, countless prototypes and many late night Google-ings of "how to pick a blog name," I've given up on something creative and catchy and decided to go with the name I use for every social media account: HaleyTaryn.

I feel like if I'm going to really do this blog thing, I should bring you up to speed on the last few months. After graduating from college in June, I moved back in with my family in Ohio. As a college student, you have these wild fantasies that the boss at your dream job will be waiting for you after you walk across that stage, arms open, ready to whisk you away to a good salary with health benefits. First real world lesson: that does not happen.

Regardless of how many friends have graduated before you or how many articles you've read about underemployed college graduates, you never think it will happen to you. But there I was, for six months, unemployed (or underemployed, if we're counting my part-time, seasonal job at a department store). So I wrote what felt like hundreds of cover letters and distracted myself from unemployment the best way I knew how: YouTube.

But finally, after six months of applying, and just as I was mentally preparing to spend the first few months of 2015 in Ohio, I got a job and I'm moving to New York City!! I am so excited for this job and so grateful to finally have the new start I've been craving since June.

Back to the blog.

I have a lot of things I want to do here. Too many, probably, but I'm going to attempt them all. I do promise that this won't just be a travelogue of everything semi-interesting I do in New York. If you want to see that stuff you can follow me on Instagram (@haleytaryn), where I'm sure to post a disgusting number of pictures of skylines, Subway tiles, and cronuts.

But like I said, I want this blog to be more than that. I have a lot of interests and this blog is going to cover them all.

Here are a few things I will probably write about:

• Music: If I had been blogging a month ago when Taylor Swift's album came out, I would have ranked all the tracks. I mean, I'll probably still do that, but that's an example of me writing about music.
• Food: From time to time, I like to cook and bake. And from time to time, the things I make are delicious. So, I hereby solemnly swear to share said recipes with you...if I get around to actually typing them up.
• Makeup & Fashion: I mentioned I've spent a lot of time on YouTube, where I discovered the joys—and dangers—of beauty bloggers. They're seriously addicting and encourage me to spend way more money than I should on makeup. I'll be sharing products that I love and tips that I've almost certainly learned from all these much more talented and qualified beauty bloggers.
• Health: Aren't eat healthier and exercise on everyone's list of New Year's Resolutions? They're on mine. I will use this blog to share those health things with you, too!
• And whatever else I want to blog about 

If any of that interests you, stick around. If it doesn't, then don't. Or do. Really, just do whatever you want because that's what I'll be doing.

+Haley